Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive

There are many reasons to grieve someone who is still living.

• Anticipating the death of someone with declining health or terminal illness

• Dealing with the loss of a relationship due to a breakup, divorce, estrangement, etc.

• Accepting someone else’s physical/mental impairment, such as brain injury, drug addiction, dementia, etc.

In many ways, I think it is tougher to grieve someone who is alive than someone who is dead.

When someone has died, there is no possible way to change the circumstances. There is a finality to it and there is a specific point in time when their presence is permanently gone. There is no choice but to accept reality.

When the person is still living but isn’t the same person we’ve known, our minds have a harder time with the grief. The desire to go back to the way things used to be weighs heavy on the heart.

In some situations, there will be times when you will be in attendance with the person you are grieving. This only opens the wound each time.

Personally, I have experienced this devastating type of grief with several people in my life who have left a hole in my heart.

How do we deal with this unique grieving process? I am no expert, but here is how I coped.

Give your grief to God.

The Bible says He is close to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34:18)

He understands your hurt when no one else can.

He instructs us to take our problems to Him because He cares.

Let God comfort us.

The Bible says He is a God who comforts us. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Sometimes we can’t even explain to others how we are feeling.

Rest assured, when our heart is breaking, He knows exactly what we need.

Give it time.

As with any type of grief, time plays a factor.

Recovering and healing doesn’t happen overnight.

We want the hurt to disappear quickly, but God’s timing is not always the same as ours.

Are you in a situation where you’ve lost the person you knew and loved?

Take it to the Lord in prayer. He can give you peace beyond understanding. (Philippians 4:7)

He can give you wisdom as to how to handle your circumstances. (James 1:1-8)

If you have had to deal with this difficult issue, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment and help others going through this situation.